Careless Words: We Must Learn to Bridle Our Tongues

Careless Words

It is amazing how much we can learn about God from children. As I watch my students each day, I learn so many lessons from them until it is almost mindboggling. Just the other day I learned 2 valuable ones from one of my students. This is the first one. Careless words can hurt and they can destroy.

I know you are probably thinking that we all know that. True. But, it is still a lesson worth repeating. Children don’t seem to realize that the little thing in their mouths called a tongue can get them into a world of trouble. The Bible says in James 3: 4-7: Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. 5So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! 6And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell.…

One of my students learned this lesson after she decided to announce to the class how much she wished I would go away. This little announcement came as the result of my correcting her inappropriate behavior. Once the words were out of her mouth, the write up slip was filled out and sent to the principal’s office. Next, the call was made to her coach and to her parent. In the end, she was severely punished for not controlling her tongue.

Yes, we all get angry. Yes, we all think evil thoughts at times. Sometimes those evil thoughts are about our boss, our co-workers, our fellow church members, and even our spouses. However, we don’t just say these things out loud. If we did, it could have disastrous results. We could lose our jobs, our spouses, and our places in society. There are so many marriages and relationships that have been brought to ruins over careless words~careless whispers. So, what do we do?

First, as Christians, we learn to bridle our tongues. We pray and ask God to help us when our boss or our spouse or our co-worker is getting on our last nerves. We ask him to show us why we don’t like our neighbors. You would be surprised at the answer.

This brings me to the second thing we must do: Pray. Several years ago there was a nurse that I worked with. Without knowing why, I talked about her negatively all the time. I was constantly pointing out her faults and talking down about her to my family and friends. One day, this question popped into my head: “Why does this woman irritated you so much?” I stopped and gave this question some serious thought. Then, the answer came to me.

 I didn’t like this young woman because I was jealous of her. I was jealous of the fact that she didn’t have children and could do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. I had a small child, and my activities centered around caring for him. I was jealous of the fact that she had more money left over after she paid her bills. I was jealous of the fact that her parents had bought her a car, and my parents had not been able to do the same for me. I had had to purchase my own car and pay my own bills. Yes, I was jealous.

Once this reality came to me, I learned to control my tongue, and I stopped talking about her. I prayed and God showed me that I also had many things to be thankful for.

The tongue is such a dangerous thing. It can lead us to success or it can lead us to death. We must learn to choose our words wisely.

Learning How to Submit to God

 

It is my belief that submission and black women don’t easily mix. I say this because I am a black woman, and I know how hard it is to submit. This is especially true for single black women. This submission can be to a man, to God, or to our bosses. It is hard. Why?

Submission means to surrender our will to the authority of another. It means giving up what we want to do the will of another. And, for some African American women like myself this is so difficult. It is difficult for me because I have been single all my life. As a result, I have had to learn how to think for myself and for my children.  I have had to make all of the hard decision, to go the tire shop and bargain for tires, and to the car lot and try to get a good deal even though I knew the odds were against me. There was no man to do this for me.

So, when you ask an independent woman to lay down all those years of training~to give up doing what she sees as best in order to service God or to be obedient to a husband~you are almost expecting a miracle. But, thank God for miracles.

It has taken me all these years to see that my way is not always right. As God said, His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. He knows what I don’t know and he sees what I don’t see. I have had to remember this when things don’t go my way, when I don’t get the car I want, or the man I believe is just the one for me. I have to remember this when my job is not going as I would like and I think about giving up. I have to remember this instead of running away from the job, the problem, or the circumstance. I have to stop focusing on myself and focus on God and his wisdom. He knows the end results. He sees that man’s heart. He knows why I am at the job I am at and why. Nothing happens by accident. All things work toward the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. God knows.

So, I am learning that instead of struggling or having one of my temper tantrums to trust God. I am learning to say “It is okay. I will obey.”

It is my belief that this is the reason God allowed me to be single for so long. In all honesty, if I had married before now, I am sure it would have ended in disaster.  I had to learn to trust people. I had to learn to stop reacting negatively to situations and trying to make things work according to my own will. I had to realize that there is a higher power.

Although it is often difficult, I am learning to submit to God. I am learning to stop trying to be so independent and learn to depend on God.

Lessons from Wal-Mart

The other day I decide to go to Meridian, Mississippi to pick up a few things. I had several stops to make in town. One of those stops was Wal-Mart. Another one was the mall. As I was on my way from the mall, I noticed that my car was driving a bit funny, and I knew I should go home immediately. I had one more stop on my list, and I debated making that stop.

Suddenly, it came to me that there was probably something wrong with one of my tires. So, I made a decision. I would go to my last stop, and I would check my tires while I was there. I made it to my destination. I checked my tires and sure enough, I saw wires sticking out of one of them. I then debated trying to get back home or purchasing a tire in Meridian. I wondered why when I was on the other side of town I would notice my tire. I mean, I had just left Wal-Mart which sells tires. I had just left the mall which is next to Sears. I could have purchased a car from both of these places. I decide to go to the Wal-Mart closest to me. I had never purchased a tire from this site before, but I would have to do just that today.

When I made it to Wal-Mart, I pulled into the Automotive Department and held my breath. I had had some bad experiences with the other Wal-Mart in Meridian. So, I don’t like buy tires there. To my surprise, the people at this site were extremely friendly. I was very satisfied and surprised. But, what does this have to do with God?

As I was getting into my car, I realized how good God is. He had led me to the right Wal-Mart at the right time. He had kept that tire from blowing out while I was driving. God knows, I had been on some lonely and dangerous roads. I could have been killed. He had made sure the car drove fine until I had received my paycheck from work.  Isn’t God awesome?

He gives his angels charge over us to keep us from dashing our feet against a rock-Psalms 91: 11

The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him and he delivers them-Psalms 34: 7

Lessons about God I Learned from My Children: Part 2

 

 

It is amazing what we can learn from children. I did a post earlier on one of the lessons about God that I learned from my oldest son. Well, just the other day, one of my students also taught me about the ways of God. One of my female students spotted the school secretary in the hall. She jumped out of her desk and declared that she just had to speak to the school secretary. I informed that student that she could not speak to the secretary. For one thing, this was during class time and as a teacher, we protect that time. For another, the secretary was headed into another teacher’s room. I was not going to let my student interrupt another teacher’s class for something trivial. I had to tell her to have a seat 3 times before she finally gave up and sat down. The thing was- I was going to let her speak to the secretary anyway after she came out of the classroom next door.  Not only was I trying to prevent the loss of class time, but my main goal was to get my hard-headed student to obey. I needed to let her see that we can’t always have things the instant we want them, and I was going to share this with her. Sadly, as soon as she sat down, she instructed another student to call the secretary for her. I looked at her and shook my head. This killed my plan to bless her. This demonstrated her lack of patience and confidence in me. So, now I was really reluctant to let her speak to the secretary.

I couldn’t help but think about how we act. How we, as Christians, act just like this little girl. We ask God for something. He doesn’t give it to us instantly, and like Abraham, we become impatient and try to do things in our own power. God knows when we are ready to receive our blessing. And, he knows when our blessing is ready for us. Sometimes, he tells us to wait because it is not the right season. He is going to bless us, but we have to be patient. Sometimes, he is just testing our hearts. Sometimes, he just wants us to obey. I am guilty of being impatient. I often want what I want when I want it. Thankfully, God is helping me to learn how to wait on him because he knows what is going on behind the scenes. So, you see there is so much that we can learn from children.

 

Genesis 16 (Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar)

1 Samuel 15:22 (Obedience is better than sacrifice)

Luke 11: 13 (Our father gives good gifts)

Ecclesiasts 3 (There is a season for all things)

Isaiah 40:31 (Those that wait upon the Lord)

Accepting Life's Disappointments

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

This is a scripture is that most of us have heard several times before. For some people, it offers them hope when life seems void and bleak. This scripture and I have had a long history, but it is not a good one. I can’t tell you how many times this scripture has been quoted to me by prophets and preachers alike. And, it was always at a time in my life when I was facing hurt and disappointment. It showed up at times when I was disillusioned and angry. At those times, this was not something I wanted to hear. Like any spoiled child, I wanted what I wanted at the time that I wanted it. So, hearing that God had a plan for my life that obviously wasn’t what I had planned didn’t set too well with me. Although this scripture is still not one of my favors, I have learned to accept that God knows best. Our times are not his times. And, our desires are not always his desires. Now, I don’t get as upset when disappointments come. I have learned to trust God and keep moving forward. All things work for my good.

Romans 8: 28: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Get Out of the Boat: Be a Water Walker

A favorite quote of mine from my pastor, Dr. Robert Nix, is “If you want to walk on water, you have to get out of the boat.” This comes from the story of Peter walking on the water to meet Jesus. This is a true saying. If you want the miracle that God has for you, you have to be willing to take a chance. You have to have the faith to step out of the boat. My grandfather used to say, “Reach for the moon. If you fall among the stars, at least you will be on higher ground.” This is true. Stop sitting back wishing on a star. Shoot for your dreams. If you are not sure how, then do some research. Google it. Ask for help. The bible tells us to study to show ourselves approved. So, read books on the subject. Pray. Step out on faith. Walk on water.

Matthew 14: 22-33

Leaving a Legacy Behind: Things We Must Leave Our Children

A few years ago, I wrote an article called “Legacies” for Yahoo Voices. In this article, I talked about a family from Kemper County whose parents had left them a lasting legacy of love, pride, and service. How wonderful it must be to be left with a legacy like that. As parents, it is our job to leave a lasting and positive legacy for our children. We should strive to ensure that our offspring is better off than we were to begin with.

Yes, I know we may have struggled, and many of us feel that our children are not any better than we are. But, did you ever stop to think how different your life would have been if you had been left with a positive legacy? Did you ever wonder how much further along you would be if your parents had provided a better financial foundation for you?

Well, I do. I think about all of those people who inherited their grandma’s house or their parents’ old car. I think about the money I would have saved. I also think about how much better off financially I would have been if someone had only taught me to budget my money when I was younger. No, I am not crying over spilled milk. The past is the past. And, I believe in moving forward. As my mother once said, you can’t drive a car if you are constantly looking back.

What I would like to do, however, is ensure that my children don’t have the same struggles. No, we should no give our children everything they want. No, we should not make them lazy. Yes, we should encourage them to work and make a living. But, we should make it a goal to leave them a legacy of honesty, hard-work, integrity, and financial and spiritual wisdom. We must educate our children on how to budget. We must teach them how to have a good work ethic. We must teach them respect. We must teach them be empathic to their fellowman.

So, as parents, we shouldn’t waste all of our substance (money/knowledge) on ourselves. We should provide a financial and spiritual legacy for our children.

http://voices.yahoo.com/leagacies-11617932.html

http://voices.yahoo.com/ending-cycle-poverty-indentifying-cause-12028759.html

http://voices.yahoo.com/ending-cycle-poverty-among-african-americans-11980800.html

Luke 15:11-32
Proverbs 13: 22